3 Keys to Living Joyfully Above Circumstances

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.”

-James 1:2

As a mom and a teacher I have discovered that there is much to learn from watching the behaviors of children.  Our youngest daughter spent two weeks in the pediatric intensive care unit last spring.  I would stay the night in the hospital each night and my husband would come home to stay with our two year old.  He said he was amazed daily at how our daughter was still so full of joy, even though our world seemed to be in shambles at the time.  She was unable to see her mommy every day, she was shipped back and forth to grandparents and aunts and uncles, and she had seen her baby sister lying in the hospital bed hooked to a ventilator.  She knew that these circumstances were less than desirable, yet she was filled with joy.  So how do we, like my precious tot, live joyfully even in the midst of trials?

Here are 3 keys to living joyfully above our circumstances:

1. Trust God.

“Oh, the joys of those who trust the LORD, who have no confidence in the proud or in those who worship idols.” –Psalm 40:4

2. Hold Fast to Hope

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.  And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.  And this hope will not lead to disappointment.” --Romans 5:3-5

“Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.”  --Psalm 30:5

3. Remember God is Present

“You make known to me the path of life;  you will fill me withjoy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”  --Psalm 16:11

“Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.”  --Psalm 63:7

God often helps me understand lessons like this through parenting.  It helps me to understand Him as my Heavenly Father through parenting situations and my role as a parent.  Last week He brought me through a parenting situation that helped me tie these keys to joyfully living together.  My 3 year old had an appointment with a pediatric specialist at the children’s hospital.  As I was checking in at the reception desk, a little girl, about four years old, came out of the Cancer Center with her mom and older sister.  It was apparent she was a cancer patient.  She had a bandage wrapped around her arm and it looked as if she was starting to get some hair back on her head.  She was pale and fragile looking, yet she skipped to the elevator.  My eyes filled up with tears as I thought about what this little girl and her mother must have been going through.  My heart broke for them, but the little girl’s smile and joy were contagious at the same time.  As I took my seat in the waiting room I pondered the sight and I asked God to teach me how to have that kind of joy no matter the circumstances.  

Throughout my daughter’s appointment, the Holy Spirit continued to move within me.  Through my daughter He showed me what it looks like to have joy in the Lord above the circumstances.  My daughter had to go through an uncomfortable procedure, but throughout her times of discomfort I assured her that I was there and that it was all going to be okay.   Seeing the way she trusted me, and how just holding her hand gave her strength and comfort, I was reminded of how we find joy in trusting God and resting in His presence. I promised her that after this appointment she would be all fixed up and we could go have a fun day together.  We had plans of ice cream and play time following the appointment, and as she remembered the future that awaited her she was able to endure with joy set before her.  That is the picture of hope.  If we remember that a bright future awaits us, we are better able to endure our current trials with joy.    

Heavenly Father, thank you for teaching me these practical lessons through the joy of little children.  These children are such blessings.  Help us to see all there is to learn and cherish in their beautiful little souls.  Father, continue to teach me what I need to be able to live joyfully above my circumstances.  Your word tells us what a gift joy is, so help me to protect the joy that I have been given.  May today be a joy-filled day as I rejoice in you, trust in you, hope in you, and rest in you.  I love you, my Lord.  In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Dangers of Comparison: Day 4

Day 4: Comparison can lead to insecurity or pride.

Today, we finish up our week on the dangers of comparison with two final dangers: insecurity and pride.  They are two extreme opposites, but both very real dangers that go against the type of attitude that God wants us to have.  God wants us to walk as His chosen people with a humble confidence.  There is a happy medium between insecurity and pride in which He desires for His children to walk.  The happy medium is in Christ.  We are to walk with a firm identity in Christ, knowing we are His.  And all our confidence should be in Him, for we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. 

Insecurity

Throughout scripture we can see that God desires for us to walk with humble confidence as Christians; but when we compare ourselves to others, the confidence part goes out the door and we are left drowning in a sea of insecurity.  When we compare, we tend to compare everyone else’s best qualities with our faults.  Not only is the comparison unnecessary, it is unfair.  In his newest book, Crash the Chatterbox, Steven Furtick says, “This is one of the main reasons we struggle with insecurity: we’re comparing our behind-the-scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel.”  He goes on to point out how social media has brought this habit to an all time high.  Oh how true that is!  My News Feed is flooded with the picture perfect moments of those around me while my own personal News Feed in my mind is reeling through every doubt, fear, mistake, and flaw I have ever had.  We have to stop the comparison and refocus our attention to the fact that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and each day we are being transformed into the image of Jesus.

Pride

We can either look at pride as the opposite of insecurity or as the antidote to it.  Instead of letting others see our insecurity in a certain area; we can sometimes try to cover it up with pride.  Nevertheless, when comparison leads to pride, it puts a road block between us and the way God wants us to love others.  The Bible tells us through a story in the gospels what Jesus would say to this kind of attitude.  Comparison and pride polluted the air while talk about who should be seated next to Jesus in Heaven circulated among the disciples.  In comparing themselves to their fellow disciples, some thought they should be the ones to sit at the right and left hands of Jesus in His glory.  Jesus replied by saying, “Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:43-45) 

Now before we judge James and John here, let’s take a look at the log in our own eyes.  It’s not hard to fall into this kind of comparison and prideful attitude.  Especially in the work place it is easy to look at coworkers and say, "I am working harder than they are, doing more, doing better...so I deserve the blessing, more pay, the promotion, the boss’s attention, etc. "  May we all find it in ourselves to humble ourselves as servants.  Instead of comparing ourselves and becoming prideful, we should be reaching out our hands and helping those around us.

Father God, thank you for opening my eyes to how dangerous it is when I compare.  I want to live life abundantly with my eyes fixed on you.  Teach me to do that, Father.  Help me to keep my eyes on you.  And build in me a humble confidence.  May I humbly serve those around me with my confidence in you.  Continue to work in my heart, Lord.  Make me into the woman you want me to be.  I love you.  In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

 

The Dangers of Comparison: Day 3

Day 3: Comparison leads to ingratitude.

Thanks for joining me for Day 3, friends.  Today we are going to look closely at the issue of ingratitude. 

The Bible clearly tells us that God’s will for us is to be thankful in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:18).  We should be constantly thanking God, no matter what. But when we are busy comparing, we forget to stop and thank God for what He has given us.  

I’m going to get real and honest with you.  Again, I am not proud of this, but I hope that I can encourage someone in admitting this struggle.  I used to love romance novels.  I had a favorite author that I would read, and I would wait for the release of each new book.  I fell in love with the simplicity in the lives of his characters, but even more, I loved the passionate and selfless love that is displayed by the characters.  The male characters are so romantic and they always seemed to recall so much detail about their ladies.  I started the bad habit of comparing my husband and our relationship to those in these sappy novels.  In comparing my husband to these romantic heroes I began sinking lower into discontentment and ingratitude.  I wasn’t taking the time to thank God for the man He gave me.  I didn’t thank God for blessing me with a hard-working man with numerous great qualities, and I certainly wasn’t taking the time to thank my husband for any of the noble things he was doing.  Now, I am not saying that you shouldn’t read romance novels, but in my struggle not to compare my love life to the book, I gave them up.  And I will tell you what, when I stopped having something to compare my husband and our marriage to, I was able to see with much clarity that I am married to a romantic hero, and I thank God for him every day. 

Father God, I have so much to thank you for.  Most of all I want to thank you today for you!  Thank you so much for all that you blessed me with.  Lord, help us to see all the blessings in our lives and to remember to stop and thank you for them.  In addition, help me to show gratitude to those you have placed in my life.  Help me to have a heart of gratitude at all times in every situation.  You are worthy of my thanks and praises.  I love you, Lord.  Amen.

The Dangers of Comparison: Day 2

“Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.”

-Proverbs 4:27

Each day this week we are looking at the dangers of comparison.  Our key verse, Proverbs 4:27, tells us not to look to the right or the left and to keep our feet from evil.  If we stay focused on Jesus, keeping our eyes on Him at all times in every situation, we will stay on the path of abundant life that He has in store for us.  

Day 2: Comparison leads to discontentment.

Comparison doesn’t have to just be with other people.  We can compare seasons within our lives and head down the path to discontentment.  The Israelites did this after Moses led them out of Egypt.  Remember, they were led out of captivity into the wilderness and God provided them with manna from Heaven.  They were freed from oppressive captivity, yet they compared this current season to the last and found themselves in discontentment saying, “If only we had meat to eat.  We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic.  But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!”  God had delivered them, provided for them, and answered their prayers, yet they missed it.  By focusing on what they once had, they totally lost sight of what God was doing for them in the here and now.

Have you ever lost sight of your present blessings by comparing your life to what it used to be like?  One Sunday afternoon as my family and I were driving we passed a beautiful woman with a very fit body jogging down the side of the road.  My husband and I both noticed her and simultaneously looked at each other and said, “She must not have kids.”  With a tinge of jealousy in my heart I asked him if he was saying that because she had a nice looking body.  He shook his head and said, “No, I said it because she is running by herself on a Sunday afternoon.”  I am not proud to admit this, but I found myself heading down that path of envy and discontentment.  I recalled when my body was my own, and I even remembered how nice it was when I could just decide on a sunny, Sunday afternoon to take a jog.  But my current season didn’t allow that.  I couldn’t even go to the bathroom alone without toddlers banging on the door, let alone run alone.  Suddenly I was shaken back to reality, and I turned around to see my precious toddlers both asleep in their car seats.  I had to stop right there and ask the Lord’s forgiveness. Though this season is exhausting and carries its own highs and lows, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  I am so thankful that God answered my prayers and gave me two precious babies.

Heavenly Father, Thank you for all the blessings you have given me in this present season of my life.  I want to live in the present, not missing anything that you are doing right now.  I know that every season carries its own trials and joys, but I am going to shift my gaze to your presence in my present.  Please help me to stay focused on the here and now, thanking you always for all that you are doing.  Thank you, Father! 

 

The Dangers of Comparison: Day 1

Hi Ladies! I am so excited to share something with you today.  I have heard the Lord speaking to me lately about comparison, so I set out to write a short blurb for my blog touching on comparison.  Once I got started, He just kept giving me more.  Well, my short little blurb turned into a monster of an article.  So here's what I am going to do...each day this week I will discuss one of the dangers of comparison.  God has opened my eyes and heart to how comparison can put a road block in the way of the abundant life He has for us, and I can't wait to share all that He has been teaching me.  So let's get started.

“Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.”

-Proverbs 4:27

Do not turn to the right or the left, but stay on the path God has for you.  Let’s break this verse down a bit.  To stay on the path that God has for us, to keep our feet from evil, we have to keep our gaze fixed on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.  When we look to the right or the left, often times we find ourselves comparing ourselves, our walk, or our lot to those around us.  Comparison is a dangerous thing and can lead us down a path far away from the abundant living God has for us.  Actually, comparison is not just dangerous, but deadly.  It has the potential to kill our joy, gratitude and confidence.  Join me each day as we take a closer look at each danger associated with making comparisons.

Day 1: Comparison leads to envy

Comparison, looking at what others have and comparing it to what we have, can lead to envy, and the Bible tells us that where you have envy and selfish ambition you will find disorder and every kind of evil practice.  (James 3:16) This tells us that envy leads you down a slippery slope into even more actions and thoughts that are displeasing to God. Envy can lead to greed and leave you always wanting more.  It can also lead to discontentment, ingratitude, insecurity, and pride.

Go with me here for a minute.  It is easy to say in our heads that we won’t envy, but how hard is it really to discipline ourselves not to go there?  It just takes a look.  One look.  One look to the right or left and our minds can begin the downward spiral with thoughts like, “Ooh, I love her purse. I wish I could afford a designer handbag but all of my money goes to feeding my children.” Or, “Look how straight and shiny her hair is.  I hate my frizzy, curly mop. It’s so hard to tame.”    How that must insult God when we criticize his creation; He did his best work on us.

Just the other night in church I found myself surrounded by people who had beautiful singing voices.  I was not gifted in this area so I lowered my voice, and as I looked around my worship began to seem inadequate in my eyes.  I even envied the beautiful voices I heard rising up above my own.  I struggled to regain focus and an image flashed across my mind.  The image was of the heavens opening up and God’s people ushering in the bridegroom, Jesus, with their worship.  In this picture, I saw myself amidst the crowd of worshipers.  Everyone had their hands raised high in worship and they were singing their hearts out.  Then there was me, just standing there looking around.  The Holy Spirit spoke to me in that moment and I realized what I was doing.  The Spirit nudged me to look at the image further and I decided that when Jesus returns I want to be singing His praises and giving Him all the glory.  I don’t want to be the one in the middle of the crowd looking at what everyone else is doing.  Jesus deserves to have my attention, and I am going to do all that I can to give it to Him.

The possibilities are endless in terms of what we can envy.  We can envy the stress-free life of our neighbor, the way they look, or even their closeness to God.  But if we keep our eyes on Jesus, he will show us the love and blessings He has lavished on us that should never leave us needing more. 

Lord my God, forgive me for envying those around me.  You deserve all that I have: my attention, my worship, my praise. But I can't give you all that I have if I am distracted by my comparisons.  Help me to keep my eyes on you and what you are doing in my life.  I know that you are good and your plans for my life are good.  I want to be able to reach out to those around me and encourage them without envying them, but I can't do this without you, Lord.  I need the help of your Holy Spirit.  Thank you for your help, and thank you for all you are doing in my life.  I love you.  Amen.