So You Messed Up...Now What?

"Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;
no shadow of shame will darken their faces."
                                                                                         -Psalm 34:5

One time when I was a little girl I had the bright idea to go into the bathroom, climb up onto the sink, and stick a bobby pin into the electrical socket. I have no idea what I was thinking. I don't remember my thought process leading up to the poor decision, but I remember clearly what I was thinking afterwards. The numbness that was shooting up my arm and my blackened finger tips told me that I had done a bad thing. I knew that I shouldn't have done it, and I was afraid of what my mom would do or say when she found out. I was hurt, scared and ashamed.

When I went into the living room where my mom was, I held my burnt fingers tight in my clenched fist behind my back and hung my head. I couldn't even look at her. I tried to hide the remnants of my mistake and did my best to avoid interaction with her, knowing that one look and she would know what I had done.

Now looking back I can see that it was my shady behavior that sold me out in an instant. Mom took one look at me and asked what was wrong. Still afraid to look at her I just shook my head.  Finally, I just led her into the bathroom and pointed to the socket.

Of course, she corrected me and reinforced why this was such a bad idea. But then, like any loving mother would do, she took care of me.   She reassured me that I was still loved even though I had made a bad choice, and she fixed the boo-boo that my mistake had caused.

As adults we can do the same.  We make poor choices and afterwards we see the repercussions and know without a doubt we made the wrong choice. We hang our heads in shame and approach God the same way I approached my mom, afraid to look at Him or even interact with Him because we know He will take one look at us and see what we have done. But the Bible says that those to look to Him for help will be radiant with joy, no shadow of shame will cover their faces. We don't have to hang our heads in shame. We can look to God for help.  He will help us fix our boo-boo, remind us that we are still loved, and the look of radiant joy will return to our once shame-shadowed faces again.

Maybe today you are trying to sort through the repercussions of a poor choice. Perhaps you find yourself walking around with your head hung in shame, avoiding God because of what He might think, say, or do.  Or maybe, after hiding from Him for so long you find your self going back and sticking your finger in that same nasty socket. If any of these describe you, can I first of all tell you, I have been there?  Oh, have I been there. But can I also tell you that you can't overcome it without Him? Jesus paid the price for that sin you are hiding there behind your back. And the truth is, He knows exactly what it is you are hiding. Just show Him. Look to Him for help and He will help you.   Let your Loving  Father fix you up and remind you that you are  loved. Oh how loved you are!

He Makes Everything Beautiful

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace…

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

-Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

Hello Friends! I’m sorry it’s been a while since my last blog post.  My husband and I had the opportunity to travel to Las Vegas for a friend’s wedding in mid-May, and upon our return, life hit us head on like a bug on a windshield.  The week following our return from Las Vegas, my husband’s grandmother took a turn for the worse and went home to be with Jesus.  Life was flipped upside down on us for a few weeks.  In one week we walked through the loss of our beloved Grandma Ruth, and we attended another funeral in addition to hers as well as a wedding, a graduation, and hosted a graduation party at our house for my little sister.  The following week didn’t get any easier.  Both of my little ones caught colds and I went through a surgery.  My head is still spinning from the emotional roller coaster ride we have been on, but one thing is for sure, there is a lot to learn in times like this. 

I have always loved this passage from Ecclesiastes.  We know that there are seasons in life, and God makes each one beautiful in its own time.  What I failed to remember is that we can walk through nearly all of these seasons in a week’s time.  Sometimes life just seems to hit us all at once and we find ourselves on a ride that won’t stop and won’t let up.  We keep trying to tap out but the punches just keep coming.  Life is just flat out hard sometimes, right?  But there is a secret to finding joy in the midst of the chaos, and I believe the secret is found in verse 11 above.  God has made everything beautiful in its time, so the secret to a joyful life is learning to see God’s beauty in it all.

 

The death of my husband’s grandmother was not an easy thing to walk through, especially as we watched her suffer during her last hours of life.  Yet, there was beauty to be found in the midst of our pain and heart ache.  For instance, watching Grandpa Carl, Grandma’s husband of 62 years, hold her hand and tell her that it was okay for her to go home and be with Jesus and her parents was a beautiful thing.  The look of passion and sincere love in his eyes after 62 years of marriage displayed an even deeper beauty than the look of love in our friend’s eyes as he watched his bride walk down the aisle toward him just a week prior.  Having the opportunity to be with Grandma during her last moments of life and to pray with her and encourage her was another beautiful moment.  After Grandma passed we huddled together as a family and had many moments where we were crying one second, and laughing the next.  Even in the worst of times, when we open our eyes and lift them to God, we will find Him, and when we find Him we will find beauty. 

So today, whatever season you are walking through, or if life is coming at you like a race car going the wrong direction down a one way street, it is my prayer that you will see God’s beauty in it all.  May your eyes be opened to the beauty in each moment, and may you see God in fresh new ways each step of the way. 

Heavenly Father, today we just pause and thank you that you make all things beautiful in their time.  Please help us to see you in whatever we are walking through today, Lord.  Whether we are mourning or dancing, laughing or weeping, or all of the above, would you open our eyes to the beauty you have set before us.  We love you, Lord.  Please bless this day, in Jesus’ name we pray, Amen. 

Faithful to Bring the Victory

“‘Do not be afraid of them,’ the LORD said to Joshua, ‘for I have given you the victory over them.  Not a single one of them will be able to stand up to you.’”

Joshua 10:8

“‘Don’t ever be afraid or discouraged,’ Joshua told his men.  ‘Be strong and courageous, for the LORD is going to do this to all of your enemies.’”

Joshua 10:26

Joshua and his men had gone through battle after battle and won them all.  With each battle they took possession of more of the land God had promised to give them.  God continued to encourage them, telling that that He has given them the victory.  Notice that God says that in past tense.  The victory has already been given to them.  How cool is that?!  Joshua was able to continue to spur his men on because He had the unwavering faith that God was going to do this with ALL of their enemies.  The Israelites were able to continue moving forward, strong and courageous, because of God’s great faithfulness in every single one of their battles.  I love this! I imagine that with each passing battle, with each victory, their faith and confidence in the Lord grew stronger and stronger.

The same is true for you and for me in the battles we are facing.  This speaks directly to my fear.  I do not have to be afraid or discouraged because God has promised that the victory is mine.  I know He is fighting my battles and will do this with all of my enemies.  And with each passing battle, I can stand with greater confidence as I see the faithfulness of my God. 

Yesterday marked one year since one of the worst days of my life.  On May 5, 2013 my baby had a close encounter with death.  As I mentioned in my post last week, for two weeks following May 5^th I watched my little girl fight for her life in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit.  I am going to be completely honest with you and tell you that I have been dreading May 5^th for the past few weeks.  I was afraid that it was going to stir up all of those fears that I have been working so hard to keep under control.  So I guess you could say I was afraid of fear.  I was afraid that my mind was going to try to relive what happened on last May 5th, and all those terrible memories and fears would sweep over me again.  Can anyone else relate to this with an anniversary of a tragic event in your life?  Please tell me I’m not alone here. The one year anniversary of the Boston Marathon Bombing was just a few weeks ago and I imagined that the victims and family members of those directly affected were facing the same kinds of emotions. 

In preparation of this approaching anniversary I tried to remind myself to take every thought captive and focus on God’s faithfulness in that battle.  Instead of focusing on all the horrific things I saw that day, I tried to pay more mind to the miraculous things I saw.  Today, I can happily report that yesterday was a great day.  I took my crazies shopping last night with my best friend.  My youngest, now 15 months old, ran around the department store like a hooligan, and as I chased her around I could imagine the smile on God’s face as He whispered, “Don’t ever be afraid or discouraged.  I have given you the victory and I am going to do this with all of your enemies.” 

I need to stop right here and talk to the person reading this who has walked through a battle that seemed like a defeat, because if we are honest, not every battle we go through feels like a victory.  The marriage ends, the loved one doesn’t make it, there are casualties, or the prayer isn’t answered the way we expected.  If this is you, my heart goes out to you.  I have been through battles that seem more like a defeat than a victory.  And I want to pray for you right here and now that God will show you the victory as you see yourself as an over-comer standing strong in this place of deep heart ache.  I pray that God will show you more of His faithfulness than the horrific things that you have witnessed, and that one day when you look back on your anniversary, you will see that what the enemy intended for evil, God used for good.  You are not alone dear one, and the victory is still yours because you belong to the Mighty Warrior who fights for us.

Lord my God, Thank you for the victory you have brought to every one of my battles.  You are so faithful.  Help me to see you in the midst of my battles, Lord, and show me your faithfulness even when my eyes of my heart are clouded with pain.  Thank you!  Thank you for your faithful promises.  As I cling tight to them, make me strong and courageous.  Continue to fight for me, my Faithful Warrior.  I love you, Amen.

Consumed by God

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”

-Isaiah 43:2

“Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.”

-Lamentations 3:22

As May approaches, I have a lot of feelings and fears that are bubbling to the surface of my heart.  These are fears and emotions that I thought I had smothered out.  I stuffed them way down and hoped to never see them again. Ha! You see, last May, I almost lost my 3 month old baby to pneumonia.  For two weeks I watched my tiny, helpless little girl fight for her life in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit.  For eight days she was unconscious and was only able to breathe with the help of a ventilator.   Once we got her home I just wanted to celebrate the miracle that God had done in our lives.  Later on, some of the emotions I was still carrying had to be dealt with, while the rest got shoved down further in my pile of “I’ll get to you later junk.” 

Over the past few days I have been making my way through that pile of “I’ll get to you laters.”  As I have worked my way through, there is one theme that God seems to be speaking to my heart.  Last May, we walked through fire. But we were not consumed.  Because of the Lord’s great love, we were not consumed.  Hebrews 12:19 says that “our God is a consuming fire.”   That stood out to me today.  I am praying for some people walking through some really tough circumstances:  worrisome tumors, cancer, kids with cancer, tornadoes, deaths of loved ones due to these tornadoes that are sweeping the nation, lost homes.  These circumstances are devastating.  They seem like a consuming fire, yet scripture tells us that our circumstances will not consume us.  Our God is our consuming fire. 

What is a consuming fire?  Let’s break it down a bit further.  A fire is something that gives light.  It can also be defined as a destructive burning.  Consuming is an adjective that means to be strongly felt.  I bet a lot of you liked where I was going with God being the light that is strongly felt, but were you tempted to jump ship when I mentioned the destructive burning?  Stay with me. Yes, God is the light in our darkness.  He is the consuming light in our darkness that heats us up and lights our way.  But He’s also the destructive burning that burns away the parts of us that need to go, like the refiner’s fire.  He will use our circumstances to mold us into who He wants us to become.  Just like a goldsmith will melt down gold and mold it back up into a masterpiece, God can melt us down and build us back up into His masterpiece.  Knowing that last May, I walked through fire but was not consumed is a truth that will help set me free from the fears that still linger.  Furthermore, seeing how God, my consuming fire, used last May to melt away the parts of me that needed to go and molded me into a stronger woman of God is like healing balm to a burn.    

Father God, Consume me.  I want to feel you with me, Lord.  Light my way, bring heat to my cold, shivering heart.  Clear away the parts of me that need to go.  Lord, I need you.  I cry out to you, my Consuming Fire.  I love you, Amen.

Easter Everyday

“I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him.  This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.”

-Ephesians 1:19-20

By now many of us are putting our Easter décor away, sorting through candy, and quite possibly still finding hidden eggs here and there. After deep reflection and celebration of the miraculous resurrection of our Savior, it is easy to slip back into the routine of our everyday lives and let the light shed on the power of God grow dim.  But let’s not forget that the miracle of Easter goes much further than our salvation.  Easter reminds us of the incredible greatness of God’s power. Not only did the power of God raise Jesus Christ from the dead, but it is also available for us who believe.  God’s power is at work as much today in your life as it was on Resurrection Sunday.  Tell me that’s not something to celebrate! That should make us want to break out the egg coloring kits and celebrate Easter all over again. (Well, maybe we shouldn’t go that far.  If your kids are like mine they probably still have colored finger tips.)

My point is we should be celebrating the power of God in our lives every day of the year.  The SAME MIGHTY POWER that raised Christ from the dead is for us who believe.  That same mighty power is at work in your situation that has you up all night tossing and turning.  That same mighty power is at work inyour past disappointment that has your heart feeling like it will never be whole again.  That same mighty power is moving on your family’s behalf, is redeeming lives from the pit, and transforming God’s people into His likeness.  This same mighty power is at work all around us in nature: in sunrises and sunsets, ocean tides that know exactly where to stop and gentle spring showers that water our land.  This same mighty power is something to celebrate!

My God, Thank you for your miraculous power! Thank you for the miracle of Easter: our salvation and your power at work.  Today, Lord, we celebrate you and your incredible power.  As I celebrate you and your power today, I give you all my worries and burdens because I know that you are powerfully at work in my life.  I thank you for that, Lord.  I love you! In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Calling All Perfectionists

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

-Matthew 11:28-30

Jesus calls us to take his yoke upon us. A yoke, as he refers to it, is a wooden crosspiece that is fastened over the necks of two animals and attached to the plow or cart that they are to pull.  In today’s lingo Jesus would be saying, “You look tired.  Come with me, I will give you rest.  Let’s hook up and do this deal together.  I will do the heavy work; you just stay by my side and watch what I am doing.  Watch how my every step is tender and kind.  You don’t have to be perfect.  Just walk with me through this.  As you walk with me you will start to walk like me.  I will bridge the gap between your imperfection and God’s perfection. I will carry the load, just stay by me.”

This is a verse I have gone to often when I am feeling overwhelmed and overburdened, especially verse 28.  I cling to the fact that Jesus can give me rest.  I love that about Him.  But it wasn’t until about a year and a half ago that I understood the how found in the next two verses.  I was at my first women’s retreat in the Colorado Rockies.  That first morning during worship I found myself distracted.  I was distracted by my almost Pharisaical legalism.  I wanted everything I was doing to be perfect.  I wanted to be perfect for Jesus and I was worried that all I was bringing Him wasn’t enough.  I was constantly striving toward perfection and wondering if I was doing enough.  That morning during worship I clearly heard from the Lord, “Stacie, quit striving for perfection.  You are beautiful and acceptable in my eyes.”  I felt this peace rush through my body and I was free to come into the presence of Jesus just as I was.  Throughout the remainder of the retreat the Lord continued to speak those words into my heart.  He shined light on my desire to be perfect and made sure that I understood that He never called me to be perfect; He just called me. Period. He called me just as I am.  He just wants me to walk with Him.  And as I do, He will teach me His ways.  He will teach me to be gentle and kind and humble.  He will carry my burdens and bridge the gap between my imperfection and His perfection. Is that good news or what?! 

My dear sister, if you are exhausted, overwhelmed, and burdened from trying to be enough stop right where you are.  Call on Jesus.  Hitch yourself up to His cart and let Him carry the load for you.  You don’t have to strive for perfection as the Pharisees did, for Jesus doesn’t require perfection.  He just wants you.  He will lead you and teach you along the way. Just go with Him.  He is enough for you.  His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Go and find rest for your souls.

Lord Jesus, Come.  I need you.  I need your help.  I can’t carry my load by myself.  It is way too much for me.  Thank you, Lord, for helping me carry all that I have to carry.  Forgive me for thinking I could do it on my own.  Forgive me for thinking that I could ever reach perfection on my own.  If I could, you wouldn’t have had to come and die on the cross for me.  Thank you, Jesus, for being perfect and for bridging the gap for me.  Thank you for loving me just as I am.  Teach me, Rabbi, to walk in gentleness and compassion as you walk.  Teach me, and make me more like you.  I love you, Jesus. Amen.

For those of you who are curious about how our retreat went…it was phenomenal.  Jesus was definitely experienced by all who attended and I think our ladies found rest in the presence of our Lord.  I know I did!

Come Away With Me

                The baby is crying. The three-year old is throwing tantrums.  The husband is working. Dirty laundry freckles the bedroom floor.  The dishes stacked high in the sink resemble the Leaning Tower of Pisa. 

                This worn out, overwhelmed mama stands in the center of it all and feels like the room is spinning.  The demands of my everyday life whirl by me like the debris in an F5 tornado.  I’ve reached my breaking point; I’m well beyond my limit.  

                “I can do this, I can do this,” I coach myself, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  Oh Lord, please strengthen me.” 

                As my focus shifts to the Lord I hear a gentle whisper, “Come away with me.  Let us go alone to a quiet place and rest for a while.”  (See Matthew 6:31)  My tense shoulders relax as the gentle words of my love, Jesus, are sung into my heart like a lullaby.  Again, I shift my gaze, this time to the church’s women’s retreat coming up this weekend.  The room stops spinning, and suddenly the never ending to-do list seems a bit more manageable.  

                I am going to make it through this week.  I am going to make it through this week because the loving arms of my Sustainer are going to carry me through the piles of laundry and into the retreat, like a groom carries his adoring bride.  I am going to make it through this week, and at last I will go away with Jesus and rest a while. 

Lord Jesus, 

Thank you for these precious, personal words today.  Thank you, Lord, that you are a God who understands what it is like to need to retreat and rest.  I am looking forward to truly resting with you this weekend.  Please give me the strength to do what needs to be done this week, and the patience to let go of the things that don't really "need" to be done.  Lord, I pray for all my sisters out there who are needing rest and replenishment.  I pray for your provision; that they would have the opportunity to break away from life and rest a while.  I pray for the ladies who will be joining me on this retreat this weekend.  May we all experience you and find rest in your presence.  I love you, my Lord.  Amen.